The Ocelot Guide to Trolling

Trolls are everywhere at the moment. There’s even a ‘troll-in-chief’ in the form of super troll Donald Trump. In fact Trolls are pretty hot...

Council celebrates annual purge as community success

By Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers Council is celebrating another successful annual purge. Speaking from the bombed out wreckage of the council offices Conservative Group leader Council...

Bassett Rivers Echo – New ‘no trainers’ immigration policy for Bassett Rivers

MIGRANTS coming into Bassett Rivers will have to adhere to a strict door policy to gain entry. This comes after a new recruitment drive has...

Dereks to be extinct within the next five years

By Livi Ngroom A CAMPAIGN has been launched to save the ‘Derek’ after it was revealed that the world’s last living Derek could be dead...

Shock as council realises no-one remembers indie pop duo The Ting Tings

By Livi Ngroom Having only just discovered the answer to the question posed by the Baha Men in the 2000 song ‘Who Let The Dogs...

Gritty Crime Dramas Promise to be More Depressing

All crime dramas that aren’t gritty or depressing are to be dropped from television stations as of this week. Shows like Inspector Morse, Frost and...

Terrorists strike Bassett Rivers and introduce fortnightly bin collections

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers is in the grip of terrorists after a cell of allegedly armed men took over the town hall and introduced...

Tesco to open new superstore in Narnia

Controversial plans by supermarket giant Tesco to open a new store in Narnia have been hit by mass protests. The corporation, which opened a Tesco...

Mass protests as supermarket starts selling pink shirts for men

by Kit Chentable POLICE were called to a riot outside of Bassett Rivers’ Costalot Supermarket last night after a peaceful protest against a peaceful protest...

F.A.K.E NEWS: Snowflakes to force soldiers to carry flowers and not guns

It's political correctness gone mad! BRITISH soldiers could have their weapons replaced with flowers according to a loony new report by a left-leaning Government Defence...
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