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The News Elephant

The News Elephant

Social network LinkedIn launches campaign to attract even more insufferable wankers

Thick racist wonders why we fought Battle of Britain

Confused man tells country “basically do the exact opposite of everything I told you to do two weeks ago”

Public warned Michael Gove is still very much a thing, and could resurge this winter

The News Elephant

Health Secretary and senior officials fail to hit cow's arse with shovel in covid testing target warm-up exercise

The News Elephant

New James Bond film renamed 'No Time To DIY' after gaining B&Q sponsorship

The News Elephant

Gamer makes ultimate commitment to girlfriend by pausing game to talk

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Body odour of strangers and distracting chatter coming to living rooms nationwide in home 4D film experiment

The News Elephant

Coronavirus to cameo in current season of Geordie Shore

British lovers of fart puns lament possible end of Trump presidency

One Direction fan finally returns home after circumnavigating the globe having popped to the shops

RECRUITMENT AD: Government looking for new scapegoats: Apply today!

The News Elephant

Armed robbers accuse face mask wearers of cultural appropriation

The News Elephant

Raunchy TV mega hit ‘Boris Island’ given green light for second series

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Celebrity social media boycott hailed by people with IQ greater than that of algae

The News Elephant

Kettle called black by dull grey pot and shiny pot once accused of war crimes