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The News Elephant

The News Elephant

Rational Biden-voting optimist confused by 'massive knot of fear and despair in stomach'

Center Parcs submits new planning application following water on Moon discovery

Mythical sea monsters Scylla and Charybdis demand Boris leaves their names out of the bollocks he witters

Cabinet utterly fails to assemble basic IKEA coffee table

The News Elephant

Welsh sheep urge English to get the jokes out of their systems and have done with it

The News Elephant

Giant cheques to discontinue as bank realises that giants are mythical creatures who don't actually exist

The News Elephant

Priti Patel introduces new 'no trainers' policy for immigrants trying to get into the UK

The News Elephant

Twitter in Outrage about something or other

The News Elephant

Wales to become massive nudist colony after clothes deemed unessential

Bluebottles from different households forbidden from gathering on one lump of dog muck

MP Ben Bradley helps clear up confusion over ‘out of context’ Twitter remarks, by deleting the original context

Donald Trump changes name to 'The Real Joe Biden' in last minute bid to win election

The News Elephant

Shit performance poets and comics urge public to use Nationwide for all financial services

The News Elephant

“No Pudding, and No Meat either!” Tories realise they’re now worse than the Bastard Teacher in Pink Floyd song

The News Elephant

Urgent probe into Tory candidate selection process after MP displays decency, compassion and moral courage

The News Elephant

Crucial TV Debate helps America with its impossible choice between unhinged despotic madman and the other guy