By Jamie Hill I can’t move my legs properly. In fact there has been some kind of biological revolution wherein they have decided to not work at all. It’s my fault really as a I took a month off in my training to become a couch potato. My legs enjoyed that month. They enjoyed just lolling around not doing much as Netflix got a right proper beasting from yours truly. And now they have decided that enough’s enough. If they weren’t connected to my body I’m pretty sure they would be phoning in sick saying they’ve come down with swine flu or Dutch Elm disease or something. To think that in six months’ time I will be forcing these protesting legs to run more than 26 miles during the first ever Birmingham Marathon in aid of ICP Support. I’ve got a feeling that my legs would have probably run off with another body by then. Well, not run, as they would have lost the ability to run a long time before this happens. ‘Limped’ would be the better descriptive term. The week didn’t start well and went downhill from there. I managed to do four runs this week and the same thing happened each time with my legs. I would start out running and then after a hundred yards I could almost audibly hear one of my legs waking up and saying ‘hang on a minute, what is this blinkering idiot doing now?’ The other leg would dutifully reply: ‘He’s bloody running again isn’t he? Let’s become really painful and sieze up just to show him that we don’t want to be part of this madness!’ And they would show their displeasure in the hours and days after a run by making it so that I had to walk like Popeye the Sailor during my waking hours - getting me many a strange look especially as at one point they decided to give way in a supermarket and I found myself grabbing a passing elderly gentleman for support. His name is Clive and I’m helping him out on his allotment next week. (Just in case you’re wondering I did just make up that last bit and also the bit where my legs had a conversation.) Weight-wise there wasn’t much change at all. But for the next couple of weeks I’m more concentrating on getting my body moving again than trying to lose weight. Bloody hell this is hard! Yours Leg-Tremblingly, Fat Jamie