Don’t worry I’m not preaching, but having been to a few festivals in my time writing a ‘Festival Survival Guide’ is hardly the blind leading the blind. But neither can I be completely certain that you’re in safe hands - the fact is I’m still alive and live to tell my tales. I’ve been to six festivals - eight if you include going to Reading and Glastonbury twice each - and they’re some of the best memories I have. It depends how you define it, but essentially these long weekends were my holidays (in fairness the total sum, which I purposely always ignored, could have cost me the same amount as a trip aborad - I have no regrets). 
I thought everyone was clued in on how to be festival savvy, but given my past experiences with some compañeros it appears that some people are still clueless - with the exception of people who sneak in, that’s just a whole different ball game, and I tip my hat to them. I’m not high maintenance, but there are some bare essential guidelines I do believe in. BOOZE 
Yeah booze at festivals is expensive. Realistically you are going to invest if it’s not time to head back to camp - but when it is, your secret stash is the one. As always decant the bottles into plastics, or some sort of other eco-friendly substitute, otherwise you’ll lose the booze upon entry. After my first festival with friends I got into the habit of labelling my booze bottles. I am not an organised person but once you accidentally cook Super Noodles in vodka, mistaken for water, you learn a few festival life lessons - needless to say that meal did not line my stomach. HYGIENE 
I’ve never showered at a festival - in my eyes that’s a waste of valueable time when I could be watching a band, or drinking, or both. Even if you do shower, you’re just going to get messy again. It’s a harsh reality, which if you can’t embrace I’m not entirely sure why you’ve gone to a festival… It’s quite simple: Baby and or FemFresh wipes, a cheap toothbrush (you will most likely leave behind) roll on deodorant, dry shampoo, compact toilet paper, and hand sanitizer gel. This may sound like a lot but it’s pretty obvious that some things you share out. ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE 
I understand why someone would go Glamping, but I’m not game for that - I think the setting up of a tent in horrible weather and wading through puddles is a kind of right of passage. It’s a festival and the closest thing to feeling primal for a lot of people - you’re gonna get muddy and smell, and at some point sit on the floor. Glastonbury, for instance, is infamously muddy (aside from the one year I went and there was a heat wave - I got heat stroke) so you might as well embrace it. BARE NECESSITIES 
. At a festival it goes without saying that water is your best friend - may it never leave your side, or stray too far away. . Okay so fine they’re totally in fashion again, but a Bum Bag is always, aside from water, your best companion and it’s when I realised that my Mum’s ways have brushed off on me - so damn practical. . Take a disposable camera - old school, but it’s a way to save some phone battery (ps take a portable charger). . Treat a festival like a holiday, try something new, and have the best time.
