The News Elephant
Shock as council realises no-one remembers indie pop duo The Ting Tings

By Livi Ngroom

Having only just discovered the answer to the question posed by the Baha Men in the 2000 song ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ during a heated debate, Bassett Rivers District Council have started a new ongoing discussion after finding out that no-one remembers 2008 indie pop sensation The Ting Tings.

Councillor Cee Nita (Lab) said: “This is a colossal waste of time. We have wasted two days on the Baha Men debate only to find out it was the Baha Boy who actually let the dogs out in the first place. And now they want to debate the merits of a band from 2008 that nobody remembers.

“At the same time we have 30 chefs carrying out a sit-in protest in the council chamber against a knife ban and we’re debating long forgotten pop songs from ten to twenty years ago.

“We have much more important things that we should be discussing that we’ve actually been elected for like the drainage problems that have overtaken the roof of the council offices. The other day several workers fell through the roof during a debate and that only led to a discussion about the 1983 Weather Girls hit ‘It’s Raining Men’. I give up!”

Council leader Germane Stewart (Con), who is chairing the debate, said: “It is vitally important that we get to the bottom of the Ting Tings discussion.

“The discussion has now moved onto the name of the lead singer as no-one can remember her name. Apparently they call her ‘Bell’, they call her ‘Stacey’, they call her Jane, Mary, Jo and Lisa but that’s not her name. We just want to know what her name is but as it’s a band that no-one remembers no-one knows her name. It’s quite hard to move the discussion on when we face difficulties like this.

“But whatever happens we’ll have to finish the discussion before Wednesday as that is when the planning committee meets to discuss whether they should build this city with rock n’ roll.”