In January Ocelot editor Jamie Hill, at an impressive 18 stone of fattiness, announced that he planned to lose three stone in six months and would be running the first ever Birmingham Marathon in October in aid of charity ICP Support.
For the entire month of March I did nothing.
I didn’t diet.
I didn’t do any fitness whatsoever.
I stopped writing my blog.
I basically failed.
And, absolutely bizarrely, more through luck than machination, I’m still on course as I didn’t put on any weight during that month.
Okay, I didn’t lose any either but the fact that I turned into a sofa spud for 31 days and still weighed the same as when I started is a miracle.
So I’m still at 17 stone 4 pounds. So I’ve still managed to lose a stone since the start of the year.
You might be asking yourself what I did instead in my unplanned month off. Well, the answer is a not very sexy ‘not much’.
I watched all seven seasons of Parks and Recreation on Amazon Prime. I also binge-watched Iron Fist on Netflix as well as getting really into Mass Effect Andromeda on the PS4.
The sum of my achievements was a basic nothing for the entire month.
At the back of my mind all month I knew I was being crap. It was there as a niggle every day - a small voice that was being drowned out by the cacophony of noise that is my life as I juggle work, kids and binge watching television.
There were some mitigating circumstances. I’ve had a fair bit on my mind of late and a major life decision to make so I just couldn’t get my motivation levels up. It all became a bit secondary.
But that is now over, and although I can’t reveal it here, the whole thing has resolved itself so I can finally get back on track.
If this was a Rocky film, I’m now in the stage where normally athletes have to get over an injury and the whole thing looks in doubt. Just swap the word injury for the word laziness and you’ll get the picture. Basically I suffered from laziness for the month of March.
And here comes April and I’ve got a plan.
From Monday April 3, a new me will be born. This me doesn’t let anything get in the way of me getting match fit for a marathon. There’ll be no binge watching of telly to distract me. It’ll just be me training and nothing else apart from the occasional toilet break.
So for six days out of every week I’ll now be exercising in the form of workouts, running, walking or whatever.
I’m going to be an unstoppable fiend when it comes to making my muscles work.
My goal for the month is to lose half a stone and end the month on 16 stone 11 pounds - giving me a total of a stone and a half loss since the start of the year.
Then I’m back on track.
And I won’t be stopped by anything as I’ve now watched all seven seasons of Parks and Recreation and my Lesley Knope obsession has subsided.
I’ve just got to remember that this is for ICP Support - a charity that is close to my heart as my three children might not be here if it wasn’t for them.
In case you didn’t know ICP Support helps sufferers of Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP), also known as obstetric cholestasis (OC), which is the most common liver condition specific to pregnancy.
It is a very worthy charity. And I’ve just got to keep that in mind as I’m doing my training and stop any more selfish laziness invading my thoughtwaves trying to make me stop. In essence I’ve given up giving up.