Sitting in the ADO bus station Tuxtla Gutierrez, daylight breaks quickly, almost in the blink of an eye.
I look around at the people sitting in the station and look over the list of items you are helpfully reminded not to bring with you on the bus which includes:
1. Guns.
2. Explosives.
3. Chickens.
Pictures are included of these items, just to make sure through a series of hilarious misunderstandings due to my lack of Spanish, I somehow end up leaving my pants and socks in the hotel and fill up the space in my luggage with a case of hand grenades. The sad thing is though, at least if we give them the benefit of the doubt which would be much nicer, perhaps in one instance someone thought they had left their hand grenades at home, in their other trousers, which is why they have the sign.
When I’ve finished chuckling away to myself I head outside for my first glimpse of Chiapas on foot, taking in the heady vistas of the bus station and shopping centre car park, watching a group to my left gather round one of their friend’s impressive stun guns, which hums and flashes menacingly as they take it in turns to activate it, thankfully not near any endangered animals.
Luckily, too, Xavier appears shortly. We get out of there alive and without incident I’m pleased to be able to report, and head for the home of Xavier’s sister Flo, who lives mercilessly close to the station, has no dangerous weapons to speak of (not even a taser) and a house full of primarily natural foodstuffs.
The rules of the road in Mexico City, even more so than anywhere else in the country are each car for itself, which might not be written law, but it’s martial and actual law. That said all my experiences of being driven round this city so new to me are pleasurable and are made even more so by the fact we don’t hit and kill anyone. We only come close to doing so… which I am reliably reassured is the best possible outcome for any journey. I also have an incredible time skating through the city, hanging around with Xavier and some of his friends who live here, seeing some sights, including the Frida Kahlo museum. Here, when I saw everything she had to wear to support her damaged body, the whole construct that she used to hide her ailments, that was when I began to get to the heart of the story, to my own heart. After, outside, skateboards at the ready with Xavier and another friend Ofo, a French girl starts talking to us, saying she is here alone and should she go into the museum, is it worth it? She’s running a bit late, there’s not much time but she should come back tomorrow?
Goodbye and we skate off. I realise through luck but also organisation and planning I was well set up for my trip but I feel a bit bad for someone on their own in Mexico, like that girl, so I see a good opportunity to distribute some important information now, in the simple form of a meme, hopefully to help build a brighter future on this planet which says:
‘Don’t arrive at four o’ clock for the Frida Kahlo museum.’
The picture is of a chihuahua crying because it can’t go and see Frida Kahlo’s paintings and dresses even thought she’s its favourite artist. Dang!
Another thing: now I like trees maybe a little more than the next man even if I don’t long for physical contact with one but just outside Oaxaca we visit the tree with the widest circumference in the world, over fifty metres, which is a lot of IKEA furniture. I’ve never seen anything like that before. On this day trip with me are some Mexican tourists as well as a handful of Germans and Austrians who I make friends with, bonding in the wake of our experience with one of the most beautiful trees on the planet, man. There are other great sites on the trip, like the mescal distillery where you can see pits and vats full of fermenting agave hearts; as well as wools hand spun and dyed with cochineal, a dried, squashed bug which is the best known natural red dye, and has genuinely been used to colour Starbucks strawberry smoothies. We finish up at the site of Hierve Aqua, where hot sulphurous water bubbles to the surface on a mountainside with a panoramic view of surrounding mountainous forest, as far as the eye can see. I’m worried though when the two Austrian guys tell me they’ve had a bit of trouble with the police on the bus between Oaxaca City and Tuxtla Gutierrez, and they nearly had to bribe them.
My next meme is of an anteater in Starbucks. The anteater says: ‘I found out there were bugs in this smoothie and want to make a complaint.’ ‘What’s your complaint?’ says the common dwarf mongoose who works as a barista. ‘There weren’t enough bugs in it,’ says the anteater.
I’d like to add that the bugs may be a good source of protein and that people have jobs making cochineal, but I can’t fit all that information into a meme about an anteater. Tough break.
At the end of the trip, back at Cancun, we look round some shops. Some stores have pictures of people feeling good about themselves. You can join in too, just buy some perfume or shoes, put them on and take a picture of yourself on Instagram. It’s up to you who you are, you can be the sort of person who wears a perfume that comes with a picture of someone on a motorbike or on the beach, so you can decide who you are. Are you the sort of person who has blue or red trainers? Personally I’m more of a blue trainers person I’d like to say, so that you have a chance to get to know me through this blog, that’s how I like to express my whole sense of individuality and identity. They also have stores with products that are familiar, so you don’t have to worry about getting the wrong thing, most of your choices have already been made for you. One more thing: the water that runs through the shopping centre near the airport unlike the road by the river is crocodile free, so you won’t get dragged in and dismembered.
My meme for Cancun is a picture of me being offered the chance to go to Hooters and running the other way. The text is: ‘Left wing? Middle Class? Just the one day in Cancun then.’ Because this is a meme though I don’t have room to say that it provides a lot of jobs for ordinary Mexicans, and a great deal of people Mexicans included like it.
I try to write something about why I don’t like Hooters which takes ages, but it takes so much effort to think it all through, it’s a struggle but sometimes things should be. Anyway I think when you try to simplify a person into something less than a person and then encourage people to focus on only one part, things are going wrong unless you have more context than to be honest, everybody has to understand what’s going on. I wouldn’t be sure if I went there that everyone would understand that, and my position on this, and in this instance it would make me feel uncomfortable that I might be seen to be endorsing a viewpoint I don’t believe in.
We are driving through another tropical downpour, and Norma says ‘the sky is raining Tobias because it’s sad you’re leaving’, and she’s right, not about the sky of course, but I am leaving. I haven’t always had sign posts to point things out but for me personally I’m glad it’s that way, I wouldn’t want things to be too simple. Even if I do like chihuahuas, anteaters and common dwarf mongoose.
Thanks to everyone I’ve mentioned and everyone I haven’t because I can’t make myself write a consecutive, straight report of my travels and have to make it complicated.
Next I’m off to America.
