iPhone X – One small step for phones, one giant leap into last year… Apple geeks the world over may have cheered the announcement of the latest, and supposedly greatest iPhone since the original trailblazer, during early September but what have the $1tn computing giant/purveyor of vitamin C fuelled technology proved with the latest iteration of what is arguably the most recognisable piece of tech in our lives today? Other than the fact that they can’t seem to stop their employees splurging information all over the internet days before one of their big showing off parties? Firstly, iPhone X is all a little old hat. I know that sounds daft, it’s a big technological release by Apple after all! The brand synonymous with innovation, reiteration and always crafting new ways to make you think “Yeah, I’ll spend £1000 on being able to log my morning Weetabix from my wrist!” Wireless charging? Samsung have already done it. Facial recognition? Samsung have already done it. Edge to edge display with no home button? Guess who… I mean, have Apple simply sat back, picked all the best bits and gone “Lads, I’ve had a great idea!” It’s pathetic! You’re essentially spending a thousand pounds on turning yourself into an emoji panda! AND WE’VE ALREADY GOT APPS THAT DO THAT ANYWAY! Secondly… £1000. Just let that sink in. £1000 to call your Mum to get a lift home. Or text your mates to organise a trip to the pub. Apple have clearly been gunning for the golden 1k mark with their yearly price increases, but now that the shiny four digit figure has been reached, especially with bankers and politicians still taking their sizable shovel-load out of your wages one way or another, you have to ask, isn’t this price-tag again feeling a little old fashioned? And thirdly, if you’re going to have this massive build up, saying it’s the biggest iPhone release since the original and list all these amazing features… don’t then go on to say “Oh, and also there is an iPhone 8 coming out. You know, for the peasant classes.” It’s a little condescending, but also a bit thick. These Californian nerds are supposed to be technical world leaders! Their marketing division has single handedly destroyed parental bank accounts year in, year out when it comes to Christmas presents for the middle class kids and their bourgeoisies buddies. So why not leave the iPhone 8 release for another couple of months to build up a second hype train?! Oh, and apparently now your Apple Watch is getting 4G, but only if you buy a shiny new one for £300. To log your aforementioned Weetabix. Supposedly so you can text the results of your daily calorie intake to someone who actually gives a f***.