Water is interesting – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Every drink (apart from Vimto – which is a mystery to science) is mostly water – even vodka, and is especially true when we think of American lager such as Budweiser, which is like making love in a canoe..
In other words, fucking close to water.
Because water is the universal solvent, it can dissolve more things in it than any other substance we know. This is not just brilliant for creating a wide range of smoothies and cocktails – but also for ensuring that living organisms can transport important chemicals around their systems to keep them alive, not forgetting of course that the human body is 75-78 per cent H2O.
Water is also weird because it expands when it freezes, instead of becoming more dense like most other normal substances. The upshot of this is burst pipes and potholes which is annoying. But without this property, we would all be dead… similarly annoying.
Ice floats – and water is at its most dense at 4 degrees. This means that aquatic creatures can survive the winter buried under the mud in the bottom of a pond which doesn’t freeze. And more broadly set the conditions to allow our slimy ancestors to evolve enough to clamber out of the water and invent central heating.
And as if this is not impressive enough, water is also sticky – it has the highest surface tension of all non-metallic liquids. This means that it can work its way up though tall trees and plants – against the pull of gravity.
Water also protects us against extremes of temperature – because it has a very high specific heat capacity, meaning that it takes a lot to make it hotter or colder. The oceans help protect the planet from wild changes in temperature, which is nice of them.
Thank you water.