Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Terrorists strike Bassett Rivers and introduce fortnightly bin collections

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers is in the grip of terrorists after a cell of allegedly armed men took over the town hall and introduced...

Agony Girl answers your questions…

Ten year old Annabel is retiring this month after six years at the helm. But she’s still had time to answer your problems. We...

Protesters slam regeneration plans because… you know… change

By Livi Ngroom Plans for a £27 million rejuvenation of Bassett Rivers could potentially hit the skids because... you know... change. The plans would see developers...

Primary school class president accused of colluding with the Russians

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers Primary School has appointed an independent Sixth Year pupil to look into accusations that Year Four student Ronald Lump colluded...

Agony Girl answers your questions

Ten year old Annabel is looking forward to the summer holidays. But she’s still had time to answer your problems. We ask her the...

Bassett Rivers MP Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet’s monthly column

I iz like well representin’ u, innit! Just six weekz ago I iz like hangin’ by da Bassett Riverz bus stop wiv me homiez. We...

Bassett Rivers Council to be replaced by bloke called Dave in cutbacks

By Livi Ngroom Former council leader Ima Bitofanobber said: “We had been asked by Central Government to cut back our spending by 99% to help...

Scientists announce that they’ve finished all the science now and are going for a...

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers scientists have announced that they’ve finished and that there’s no more science for them to do. Speaking from the Stag and...

Bassett Rivers Echo – Idiot blames toaster not working on ‘all those foreigners coming...

by Kit Chentable VILLAGE idiot Ronald Trump, no relation, is threatening to single-handedly build a wall around Bassett Rivers to keep all those ‘foreigners’ out. The...

Bassett Rivers Echo – New hipster cafe revealed to be just a bearded man...

By Livi Ngroom A NEW cafe due to open next week in Market Street, Bassett Rivers has caused controversy after it was revealed that it...
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