Bassett Rivers Council to be replaced by bloke called Dave in cutbacks

By Livi Ngroom Former council leader Ima Bitofanobber said: “We had been asked by Central Government to cut back our spending by 99% to help...

Scientists announce that they’ve finished all the science now and are going for a...

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers scientists have announced that they’ve finished and that there’s no more science for them to do. Speaking from the Stag and...

Bassett Rivers Echo – Idiot blames toaster not working on ‘all those foreigners coming...

by Kit Chentable VILLAGE idiot Ronald Trump, no relation, is threatening to single-handedly build a wall around Bassett Rivers to keep all those ‘foreigners’ out. The...

Bassett Rivers Echo – New hipster cafe revealed to be just a bearded man...

By Livi Ngroom A NEW cafe due to open next week in Market Street, Bassett Rivers has caused controversy after it was revealed that it...

Bassett Rivers Echo – Grandma celebrates 100th birthday with good ol’ fashioned Twitter feud

GRANDMOTHER Dierdre ‘Doris’ Davis celebrated her 100th birthday in style on Wednesday by getting in a Twitter spat with Harry Potter author JK Rowling...

Bassett Rivers Echo – Giant cheques to discontinue as bank discovers that giants are...

THE Bank of Bassett Rivers has announced that it will no longer be issuing giant cheques. Bank manager Melvin Bogtrotter announced the move as part...

Bassett Rivers Echo – New ‘no trainers’ immigration policy for Bassett Rivers

MIGRANTS coming into Bassett Rivers will have to adhere to a strict door policy to gain entry. This comes after a new recruitment drive has...

Gritty Crime Dramas Promise to be More Depressing

All crime dramas that aren’t gritty or depressing are to be dropped from television stations as of this week. Shows like Inspector Morse, Frost and...

Internet to be returned to pre-2004 state

Web developers, including those instrumental with the creation of the internet and World Wide Web have voted unanimously to return the internet to a...

The Ocelot Guide to Trolling

Trolls are everywhere at the moment. There’s even a ‘troll-in-chief’ in the form of super troll Donald Trump. In fact Trolls are pretty hot...
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