Cat threatens to eat vegan owner’s face after being forced on a vegetable only...

by Kit Chentable A CAT has been charged by police for using threatening behaviour after its vegan owner Tarquin Snowflake tried to give it another...

New Brexit theme park to open in Bassett Rivers

By Livi Ngroom NEW plans have been unveiled for a new national attraction in Bassett Rivers called Brexitland. The new theme park will be located in...

Mass protests as supermarket starts selling pink shirts for men

by Kit Chentable POLICE were called to a riot outside of Bassett Rivers’ Costalot Supermarket last night after a peaceful protest against a peaceful protest...

Former MP poos on kids (but not in a weird way)

By Livi Ngroom Former Bassett Rivers MP Giles Hetherington-Smythe has found himself in hot water once again after pooing on some school kids from a...

Entire school curriculum replaced with bumper book of sudoku

by Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers Secondary School has caused outrage after announcing that it would be sacking all of its teachers and replacing the curriculum...

Bassett Rivers MP Bane ‘Drive-by’ Bullet’s monthly Column

I iz well excited as I av become a reality telly star. Dere iz dis programme called Question Time and I like went on it...

Agony Girl answers your questions…

Four year old Amy is loving school but is getting quite tired after a long a day but she still finds time to do...

Brexit negotiations descend into chaos over ‘what f**king biscuits?’ row

By Livi Ngroom BREXIT negotiations were at a standstill last night after the EU and the UK could not decide what fucking biscuits to have...

Council celebrates annual purge as community success

By Kit Chentable BASSETT Rivers Council is celebrating another successful annual purge. Speaking from the bombed out wreckage of the council offices Conservative Group leader Council...

Agony Girl answers your questions…

Four year old Amy has just started school and this is her first time doing Agony Girl and she doesn’t really know what the...
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