Features
Break free... get a robo-vac!

I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole of looking at videos of robot vacuum cleaners on YouTube. It was my sordid little secret until I was rumbled by my wife. Before I could pretend that I was simply watching naked Twister, she grabbed the laptop from my grasp and confronted me with the truth. “Ah ha! Robot bloody vacuum cleaners! First it was lusting after high-end racing bikes and then this! I thought I knew you…” Thing is, I actually enjoy vacuum cleaning - and I would miss it if it went.  It’s one of those tasks that makes you feel like you are doing some productive housework and you can also sing Queen’s ‘I want to break free’ at the top of your lungs at the same time - and if you feel comfortable wearing high heels while you’re about it, I’m not going to judge. Despite that, there’s something appealing about being able to go to work knowing that while you are away there’s a little droid bustling around doing the hoovering. Most of the models that I have been obsessing over are able to sense when their battery power is dwindling and then take themselves off to their charging point and fill up on juice. And they can even sense objects in their way and learn to avoid obstructions in the room. When it comes to gadgetry I think I’m more in love with the idea than the actual reality.  I think the truth is that I would probably not even mind if the little electronic critter didn’t even do a good cleaning job - if anything it might even make it more endearing.  It would definitely end up with a name, probably something like Maggie. Robo-vacs are becoming more mainstream. They range in price from about £99 for quite lame versions that make a half hearted effort to clean up before taking themselves off for a sit down after quarter of an hour - much like a teenager really; to the high end hunter killer robots that will track down any impurities in your carpet and destroy them. You get what you pay for. Robo-vacs are rapidly improving and I can see them soon becoming mainstream in the same way that dishwashers have.  Once they develop the ability to climb the stairs, it’s likely they will become an unstoppable force - possibly developing their own hobbies and interests in due course.  The future is uncertain, and a bit concerning.

  • Break free... get a robo-vac!