Six-year-old Amy has adopted a family of slugs in the garden (she’s even got the slug repellant to hand in case they attack), but she’s still got time to answer your questions.
We read her the questions and these are her answers… honest.
I am a 44 year old girl and play football for a girls team where most of them are half my age and a lot are half my weight. Am I too old and fat to keep playing?
Emma from Marlborough
No. You should keep playing because it doesn’t matter as long as you’re good at football!
Most of the time I’m really cool. When I walk down the street I strut and I’m always snapping my fingers in a cool way but just lately I’ve been finding it really hard to stay cool especially in this heat. How do you stay cool when it’s hot outside?
You mean cool like my brother George? You should get a fan and cover yourself in ice and just lie in it.
Is it economically feasible for us to return to the moon? Would you ever visit the moon?
Yes I would visit the moon but only to say hello to the Aliens who love underpants who live up there. We shouldn’t return to the moon though because we won’t fit everybody on the spaceship to get there and it doesn’t have any oxygen so we would all die.
I hear you like dancing. What’s the best dance that you can do?
I don’t know. I do a dance called nothing where I don’t do anything. I do dance but I don’t have any names for the dances.
Weirdly I’ve just been made the new Prime Minister. It was only meant to be a wheeze to wind up my chum Giles but now I’m actually in charge of a whole country. How do I fix this mess?
I would make my sister play hide and seek with me if I was in charge. That would help. But if I was in charge of the whole country I would make it so that we all just love each other and get to play all the time (but you wouldn’t have to play Barbies if you’re a boy as boys don’t like Barbies. They prefer fighting.)
Would you prefer four arms or four legs?
I don’t want any extra arms or legs. I only want two arms and two legs. Why would I want more?
To write into Agony Girl send in your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org