Tobias Baughan reflects on his trip to the Belgium city of Bruges, through the lens of the film In Bruges.
In Bruges: A Guide to the City and the Film.
When you go on holiday you should try and have a nice time and behave yourself - tourists from the UK have a bad enough rap as it is. So you can have a good time post Brexit, without violating anyone’s safe space, here’s a guide to what to do in the city. I’ve also re-written the film here as it struck me in the original film that the characters didn’t enjoy themselves enough.
Just as importantly: where should you eat, drink and shop?
Eating out
Do make sure you eat well. In the original In Bruges Ray tries to put some decent nutrition in his body at one point at an appealing restaurant, though because of anger management issues he hasn’t dealt with through therapy, he lashes out at others.
Here’s a list of great places:
1. In’t Nieuw Museum
If the Belgians love beef then In’t Nieuw Museum is about as Belgian as it gets. Everything here is cooked on a thick metal grill by the hearth, which is fun to watch while you wait.
2. Chez Vincent
The only place you should go for fast food - although there is a Mcdonald’s. Expect croquettes, chips and good prices but also quality.
3. Restaurants by the Concertgebouw (Concert Hall)
Just east of the Concert Hall admire the square and explore the restaurants at the southeast corner instead. Three course lunches are available for under 15 euros, which is much cheaper than the centre.
Sightseeing and Shopping
At one point Ray has a good opportunity to warn tourists in the film about queues for the tower, but his difference in communication style means his efforts are translated in terms which may be taken exception to.
KEY TIP: The queue for the tower can be very long so you might not want to spend your holiday queuing.
Give this a miss and take some time to wander between the different churches in the city taking in the atmosphere, which is the best thing the city has to offer. (Just don’t ask to sit in on a church service like my nan, it might turn out to be funeral.) You’ll also find some other great shopping and sightseeing opportunities:
1. Julie’s Chocolate House
The house itself isn’t made of chocolate but the chocolates certainly are. This place has a bigger range and more original flavours than anywhere else. Speak to Julie herself and pick some different chocs to make up your box.
2. The Bottle Shop
People are always talking about craft beer these days, with good reason, but the Belgians have had a great beer culture for a long time. Not to be missed.
3. Groeningemuseum
In the 13th and 14th century Bruges was a financial and cultural centre, the quality of the paintings and the people in the portraits here are a record of that. If you visit one Museum make it this one.
4. Historium
Most museums show you history through objects but at the Historeum you’ll see some short films about a boy looking for a parrot. Confused? You will be.
What if In Bruges was re-written as a good holiday, post Brexit in 2017? (The whole film in 266 words.)
The Beginning:
Ray is delivering healthy food but after dropping off the some organic kalets, he forgets to give a customer their artisanal tofu. As a result he is forced to go to Bruges by his employer at the urban farm with Ken for a holiday in Bruges. Ken really likes the city and Ray does too because it’s important to understand different cultures on their own terms.
Ray meets Chloe:
A strong independant woman who finds time in between running an ethical pharmacy to work on film sets.
They go to a restaurant and have a great time. They learn a lot about the unfair stereotyping sometimes applied to Americans.
Ray also meets Chloe’s ex-boyfriend who is so excited he comes round to surprise them with some fresh, foraged fruit.
The Dramatic Peak:
Harry tells Ken he sent Ray on holiday because otherwise he wouldn’t have taken sufficient annual leave. He believes his lack of quality holiday time caused him to forget the artisanal tofu. Harry asks Ken to tell Ray he needs to go on another holiday to Paris. Ray gets on the train to Paris then decides to return, after someone who has taken an online course to become a councillor tells him that relationships are all we have in the universe.
The Twist:
When Ray and Harry go for a jog in Bruges Harry realises he has also forgotten to deliver someone their artisanal tofu. They laugh at the fact Harry made the same mistake. It’s a good thing they’re both on holiday in Bruges.
Part 4: Conclusion
I am also pleased to note our own bed and breakfast hosts surpassed expectations with a delicious free breakfast, cute dog and cosy chit chat. There’s no doubt that Bruges is a great city, you can see and do a lot in a couple of days.
