By Jamie Hill
Fatness self-denial #907 - When having salad on your kebab is what you think of as eating healthily.
I'm smiling at the moment as I've just had my last weigh-in. I'll tell you what it is in a moment.
Okay. This might confuse a few of you so read carefully. This is Day 28 - the official end of the 28 Days of Pain.
But 'you still haven't done your 10,000 metre Mo Farah-style killer run?' I hear you cry in quite an annoying, whiny voice.
I'm doing that tomorrow. It was never really meant to be part of the challenge. It was a goal that I was working towards. Originally I was meant to be doing it on the Sunday but I forgot I was going to a wedding on the Saturday so I've had to bring it forward. I should have renamed the challenge at that point but 29 Days of Pain didn't have the same ring to it.
So I've completed the 28 Days! But I've still got a 10k run to look forward to! Huzzah!
My run this morning was a bit weird, mainly because I've still got my hand wrapped up like The Mummy. My right hand kept trying to curl into a fist as I ran. At the moment because I've sliced my hand up it can't curl into a fist. The only way I could find to stop it automatically doing that was by holding my hand up straight at a 90 degree angle to my body.
It made me look like I was doing my best 'waving like The Queen' impression as I ran.
At one point I passed an old lady dog walker and my trousers decided to fall down at the same time. So all the dog walker could see was a bloke running past doing a moonie and waving like the queen at the same time. I bet she gets that all the time.
Other than that I found the run hard but good. I daren't say it was a pleasure in case I get struck by lightening or something.
After I got back I worked out why my trousers keep falling down. It's because I've lost weight.
So now we get to my final weigh-in.
Before I started I weighed 17 stone and one pound.
After a week I weighed 17 stone. I had lost a measily pound.
After two weeks I still weighed 17 stone. At this point I had a Ferrero Rocher feeding frenzy and cut my daily calorie count down to 1,500 on the non-fasting days. I was pretty down about it all.
Then after three weeks a miracle happened. I weighed 16 stone and 10 pounds. A total loss of five pounds in three weeks.
So now we come to my final weigh-in. Wait for it.
(I'm doing a bit of a Chris Tarrant on Who wants to be a millionaire and leaving the pause for as long as possible)
(Are you getting impatient yet?)
(Alright, I'll get on with it!)
I weigh 16 stone and seven pounds!
I've lost a further three pounds this week! I've lost eight pounds during the whole challenge. That's bloody brilliant. That's more than half a stone.
I'm pretty ecstatic now. It means it's all been for something.
My next challenge now is to keep the weight off and I'm going to do that by going for three 5k runs a week.
If I had to do it again I would have got rid of the fasting days and cut my daily calorie intake down to a maximum of 1500 every day.
I'm actually planning to do the next one in January but I need to come up with some madcap challenge for me to aspire to at the end. We'll see what happens.
The final thing I've got to do is my 10,000 metre Mo Farah challenge tomorrow.
I don't think you'll be able to knock the smile off my face today though!